Si-LENT-s

Although I'm not Catholic and have no desire for "high church," I do have many non-Catholic friends who regularly observe Lent. I'd thought about it for the last several years but have always felt that I ought to be sacrificial all year round and didn't like the idea of allowing myself to believe that my work was done at Easter. That's not to say that Lent observers feel or think this way, but only that I would be tempted to if I wasn't careful. Along the same lines, however, I have had a difficult time adjusting to my new grown-up single life in the past 8 months, and my spiritual life has taken a real beating. So this year, after some really hard conversations with good friends, I realized that a scheduled sacrifice to recenter my focus might be just what I needed.

Then came the internal conflict about what to give up. It had to be something tangible that I could feel and experience and miss regularly. It also had to be something I could actually do without for forty days. And it had to be something that would help me find and feel God again.

Finally, after a really late night of tears and trying and trembling, it came to me on my way home. I decided to give up listening to the radio in my car. It met all the criteria. With all of my driving back and forth to Beebe at least twice a week, in addition to the driving that I do around Searcy regularly, I could definitely miss it. But I also felt that I had enough self-control to make it through. I also decided that because I didn't want to sweep my house clean only to have seven more demons return, I needed to pray regularly in the car to replace listening to music. This was how I was going to find God again.

Now comes the confession and report on just how well I've done. First of all, I did stick to it. (And since my revelation came about a week too late to begin on Ash Wednesday, I've still got 3 days left.) Some car rides were harder than others, and I didn't always pray as much as I should. But practicing the self-discipline of Silence has really helped. It's helped me be more self-controlled about my eating habits and more self-disciplined about working out. It's helped me to really appreciate and almost look forward to the quiet times when I can just rest and think. I think it's helped me remember more. When I have more room and time to think, I forget fewer things. But the ultimate test is "Has it really brought me closer to my God?" I really think it has. I think the prayer and quiet time has created a way of life for me that reminds me that God is around. I am much more likely to remember to stop and pray than I was at the first of the year. I'm more content (usually). I'm more comfortable being alone and silent (most of the time).

I don't know what will change next week when I'm allowed to listen to the radio again. I hope it's like when I stopped drinking Cokes for a year and a half. Now I can't stand the taste of a regular soft drink. I hope I won't like it anymore. I hope I at least don't want it on all the time. I hope I'll still be able to remember how precious quiet can be and how calming it can be to not have a thousand different inputs in my one tiny brain.

Regardless, God is good. And I can't explain how it wonderful feels to regularly feel Him with me again. So, if the testimony of a Lent neophyte is worth anything, I'm in favor of yearly sacrifice. It's one step closer to the daily sacrifice we're all called to.

Music makes words out of my soul thoughts.

"Music gives a soul to the universe,

wings to the mind,

flight to the imagination,

and life to everything."

~ Plato ~

I have long been affected by music, especially spiritually. I've often felt that worship songs were a better reflection of the deep yearnings of my heart than I could ever put into words. I have often used songs as prayers to the Lord when I could not find the words to express what I needed to tell him. Music cuts me somewhere deep. It allows my spirit to fill me up and overflow into the hearts and minds of others, especially God. I know that feelings are not everything, and they shouldn't be the basis for faith or closeness to God, but I am a primarily emotional being, and I have never felt closer to the heart of God than when I am singing, when I allow the melodic phrases to open secret passages of my heart that perhaps I didn't even know were locked. Music is a beautiful gift from the Lord.

That being said, I have been given a great gift in my opportunity to attend chapel daily. I have learned several new songs just this year that have quickly become favorites. No comment of mine can add to the beauty of these words, so I will simply share with you the lyrics of three songs that I had never heard a year ago and cannot begin to understand how my soul ever lived without. I hope that you will be blessed by them as I have been.

Still

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God
[
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Let God Arise

Hear the holy roar of God resound
Watch the waters part before us now
Come and see what He has done for us
Tell the world of His great love

Our God is a God who saves
Our God is a God who saves

Let God arise
Let God arise
Our God reigns now and forever
He reigns now and forever

His enemies will run for sure
The church will stand, she will endure
He holds the keys of life, our Lord
Death has no sting, no final word

I Will Rise

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]

[Chorus:]

Not-So-Simple Obedience

We've been reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship in my Sunday morning class at BBCofC for the past few weeks. For those of you who don't know about this man or his book, Boenhoffer was a German Lutheran who preached and wrote this book in Nazi Germany. His ideas are pretty radical, but his call is mainly to just do what Jesus said to do. The historical context of his writing is incredible because he is essentially calling a people -- his people -- to live lives that will undoubtedly increase their already unbearable suffering.

This past week, we read chapter 3: Single-Minded Obedience. It was all about Jesus' commands in the Sermon on the Mount and how hard we work to make it okay for us all to disobey them. As modern Americans, especially those who affiliate themselves with the Churches of Christ, my classmates and I have struggled with the idea that we've spent hundreds of years "justifying" away all of Jesus' outrageous commands about everyday living because they are difficult and we don't want to have to do them. So, we say that it was all just hyperbolic, only appropriate for the historical context, or that he didn't really care about the specifics of the matter. It's only our hearts that count. Well, it seems to me that a heart looking for an easy way out isn't the heart God is looking for.

On Sunday morning we discussed "what it would look like" if we as individuals, families, and/or the church radically tried to do just what Jesus was calling us to. How would the world and our lives be different if we really plucked our eyes out when they caused us to sin? What would change if we really turned the other cheek, refused to resist evil people, gave all of our possessions to the poor, and resisted the temptation to lust?
In the spirit of lists, I've listed 5 things that I believe would be different about our world if all Christians devoted themselves to Single-Minded Obedience.

1. There would be fewer poor people.
If all Christians committed to giving or selling their possessions in order to care for and minister to the poor, the poor population would dramatically decrease. How beautiful would it be to see our brothers and sisters doing just that? It seems pretty simple. But, I think that in all of our discussions in class, the giving up of one's possessions seems to be the hardest for people to actually consider doing. We really like our stuff. How much stuff did Jesus have?
2. We would worry less.
The "do not resist an evil person" seems to be really difficult for some to come to terms with, especially husbands and fathers (and mothers) who are concerned with protecting their families. The idea of letting someone come into your house and hurt your family because Jesus said not to resist him just seems like way too much to wrap one's mind around. I really believe that this is a faith issue. The intense need to fight back comes from a sole faith in one's own power, strength, will, abilities. Jesus expects us to have enough faith that God will protect us and our families that we do not need to even resist evil people because we know that God will do it for us. That faith increase would spread across all facets of our lives and we would stop worrying about things because we would trust God to take care of us.
3. There would be fewer children in broken homes.
This one is obvious. If people did not lust after women or men who were not their spouses, they would not commit adultery, and fewer marriages would end in divorce. Can you imagine what this world would be like if more children were raised with both parents in their home? Can you imagine how the church would turn around if fewer Christian marriages ended because of lust?
4. There would be more blind people.
Obvious again: more people would be plucking their eyes out. I actually do believe that Jesus used this command hyperbolically. I don't really think he expects us to pluck our eyes out or cut our hands off when they cause us to sin, but it does make for a useful metaphor. We may not be literally blind, but imagine if we became blind to the desire to sin? It's like putting on spiritual blinders, so to speak. I know that it's not a good idea to completely shut out the world and expect to get to heaven without being wary of the devil, but wouldn't it be nice if sin just didn't occur to us? If Christian people were so committed to doing the Lord's work that our tunnel vision didn't allow us the time or the opportunity to find sinful things to even consider?
5. It would be okay that our lives are not fair.
This is the "turn the other cheek" bit. I think that if all Christians really just stood firm and let people slap them around without retaliation we would be closer to Christ and more satisfied with our lives. The sort of attitude that says "I love you because you are a beautiful creation of God, and I will consciously put your needs and wants above my own," comes from a heart that trusts God completely, fully loves all people the way that Jesus loves, and has a healthy sense of humility. That person says "it's okay that other people get what I wanted." "It's okay that I have suffered mercilessly while trying to do the right thing, and other people do what they want and get rewarded." The peace and contentment that reside in this kind of heart is what I think Bonhoeffer (and Jesus) is really calling Christians to. The point of simple obedience is an intimate communion with Jesus Christ. It is a heart issue, but you can't get your heart right without actively doing something radical to change your life.

What would your life look like if you made a drastic change to follow Jesus' outrageous commands in his Sermon on the Mount? Have you ever thought about why generations of Christians believe that it's not necessary?

Lots of people say that we don't live this way because it is hard and we don't want to. I believe that we just don't love Jesus and other people enough. Perfect love casts out all the fear we have about change. Jesus has offered us that perfect love. Too often we do not accept it. More often, we do not feel it necessary to return.

Tents and Tarps

I know that everyone has heard about the earthquake the Haitians experienced earlier this month. The more I hear about it, the more I wish I was in a place in my life where I could just go down there and help do something. I feel so helpless when I hear about terrible disasters like that, but my heart is always with them. I've been praying for them and their situation since I heard the story. I've never been to Haiti. I've never seen their faces in person. But I've seen pictures. And after seeing those people in Belize last summer and learning to love them, I can't help but feel that same tug at my heart when I see the suffering these people are enduring.
I am so proud to be a part of a student body here at Harding that loves people all over the world so actively. The Student Association, along with Harding's administration, immediately began searching for ways that we could help. We had two University representatives go to Haiti and assess the situation and then come back and let us know what the most urgent need was. I was heartbroken to learn that these people that we see on the news sleeping in the streets aren't just the ones who have lost their houses. They are all sleeping in the streets because the earthquake came at night, and they're afraid if they sleep in their houses it might come again while they're inside. They're terrified to sleep in their own homes. Can you even imagine?
Anyway, the Harding SA, along with several other Universities and organizations, has organized an effort to sent tents and tarps to Haiti to provide shelter for those who have lost their homes, and for those who are simply too afraid to sleep inside anything more substantial than a tent. We have already raised enough money to send tents for 200 families who were able to sleep inside them last night. I am amazed at what God's people can accomplish when the love of Jesus is in their hearts.
So, this is an invitation to those of you who are still looking for a way to help. Go to https://tentsandtarps.org/ where you can see pictures and videos of the great need in Haiti and donate to TentsAndTarps. $50 will provide shelter for one Haitian family, but donations of any size are welcome and appreciated.
Even if you are unable to donate money, please, please keep praying for these people. God can work through this tragedy to bring about a divine light. Let's work hard to keep remembering our brothers and sisters even in the midst of our busy, but -honestly- comfortable lives.