Friday, May 25, 2012

Summer Reading

 Another school year has passed, and another summer break has begun.  I've enjoyed the last week just relaxing, and though I've been semi-productive, everything I've done has been on my own time.  I didn't have to worry about what time it was, ever.  The freedom from my usually beloved schedule has been the best vacation so far.  But because my nature still needs some sort of task to accomplish, lest I slip into introversion and self-analysis that can only lead to misery, I have been devouring books like it's my job.  Here are a few snippets of my thoughts so far.

The Submission by Amy Waldman
Sometime last year the peeps revived book club after a long hiatus, and although I opted out of several selections because of the busy-ness of last winter, I have read the last few and have surprisingly enjoyed a few books that I never would have picked for myself.  The Submission was one of them, chosen by our dear friend Martha.  It is set just after the attacks of 9/11, and a jury of artists, architects, and one widow are given the task of choosing the design, and designer, of the memorial.  After an arduous process that kept all candidates anonymous until chosen, it turns out that the jury has selected a Muslim architect.  Of course, the shock of this reverberates throughout the country, and to call thought-provoking  Waldman's speculation on how a grief-stricken America might react to the idea of a person who claims the same religion as the attackers creating a memorial to the attacked is a vast understatement.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
I had read this beautiful story once before when I was very young, too young to remember and understand the most touching and teaching parts of it.  So, when Rob and Tracy and I ventured across the country to DC in March (how appropriate), Rob and I took turns reading it in the car.  I won't tell you how many times she had to stop when she found me shamelessly sobbing in the back seat. We got about 2/3 of the way through it, but then I was back at school, and life didn't slow down, so I had to wait until early last week to pick it up again.  The story of the precious March family and the trials and victories the girls encounter while growing up is a classic masterpiece.  One can't help but fall in love with them all and rejoice when they rejoice and weep (literally) when they weep.  I haven't read the subsequent stories of these characters, Little Men and Jo's Boys, yet, but they're on my list to tackle as soon as my fragile emotions have recovered.

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
This was another book club selection, chosen by Becky.  The idea in iBooks' blurb (because I read nearly everything on my wonderful iPad now) of a young boy being trained as a soldier to fight off an alien invasion did not appeal to me in the least.  However, the intense struggle of Ender, a young, empathetic genius in a futuristic universal world, to overcome his circumstances, and often himself, held my interest to the end.  I am often irritated by books that begin in medias res, dropping me down in the middle of the action (especially in a world so different from my own), but the way that the characteristics of this new place were gradually revealed was exciting because I was always searching for clues in the text.  It was very well written and nearly thrilling and had me rooting for the young genius until the End(er).

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I have been told by many people that I am perhaps the last person on the planet to read this book and its sequels.  It's been on my reading list for at least three years, but I've never been interested enough to pick it up because I feared it was another Twilight, and don't get me started on the ridiculousness of that phenomenon.  However, I had several beloved students this year who were super in love with The Hunger Games (so much so that the girls all braided their hair to be like Katniss's on our Senior High Retreat, which was the day after the movie's midnight premiere), so I had to find out what all the fuss was really about.  I didn't expect to really enjoy it, and I won't say that I'm sucked in.  But Collins did make me care about her characters, and I'll say this for her:  She knows how to sell a sequel.  The cliffhanger at the end of The Hunger Games makes me thankful I waited so long to read them because I'd be miserable if I were waiting for Mocking Jay to finally be released. 


Well those are the books I've finished this week.  Don't hold me to this high weekly standard for the rest of the summer, but I do plan to finish several more.  I'm also reading/listening to Les Miserables along the way, but I don't have the focus it takes to get through those roughly 3000 pages without several breaks.  I've seen the musical, and I have been saying I was going to read it someday for sometime.  Rob and I are planning to see the musical again in October, so I thought this was the perfect time.  I like a task I can check off of a list, and setting a goal of getting through Hugo's magnum opus by then seemed perfect.  I'll keep you updated on how it's going.  So far I'm on page 86 of 2820. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Not all those who wander are lost

Did you miss me?  I know it's been just over a year, a long rollercoaster of a year, since I gave you some insight into the pickle jar that is my life, but I'm going to risk mixing my metaphors and get back on the horse.  I've learned so many lessons over the last year, and I miss the catharsis that regular (haha) writing used to bring.  So, no, I haven't been lost since April of 2011.  I've simply been wandering and have (no promises) made my way back to you.  The biggest part of my journey this year, other than teaching, has been purposefully being more healthy.  I have a hard time even talking about this with many people because I've been so embarrassed of my weight for as long as I can remember, but as my body continues to change, and I continue to reap the benefits that hard work has accomplished, it has become a little easier to accept the generous compliments and sweet smiles from the people around me who love and encourage.  On that note, I thought that I'd share just a few things that I've learned about lifestyle changes (because I have no plans to go back!).

1. You don't have to keep doing it just because it's who you've always been or what you've always done.
My shame and embarrassment that was developed and cultivated over the course of about 10 years or so kept me from changing my life for so long.  I would set a goal and decide I was going to really change things, but then the disappointment that came when it didn't happen as quickly as I wished would send me back to my old habits.  I'm still, daily, having to remember that I don't have to do the things I have always done.  I don't have to eat dessert just because that's what's supposed to come next.  I don't have to go back for seconds just because there's some left.  It may sound simple, or even silly, but that is an empowering revelation for me. 

2.  Your body is smarter than you think.  Listen to it.
It took such a long time for this one to really change because I didn't love or trust my body, but our perfect and amazing Creator has given us all the tools we need to be the healthy and beautiful people He created us to be. He created our bodies to know when we are full and to let our brains and hands and mouths know when to stop eating, but a lifelong habit of eating what whatever was around had corrupted my ability to do that.  When controlling when I stopped eating with my brain finally led me to a place where my stomach began to recognize it again, it was like someone turned a key in a lock and the chains fell off.  

3.  Nike was right.  Just Do It.
I have wasted a ridiculous amount of time "feeling bad" or being "tired" or just not wanting to exercise, but each time I go ahead and tough it out, I always feel better.  I can always be proud of working through that psychological mess and of doing just one more thing to get me closer to my goal.  Imagine all that I could have accomplished if I had just gotten out of my chair and done it without all the internal discussion!

4.  Enjoy the journey.
If you can't be happy with the small milestones, how can you expect to be happy at the end?  I often worry that I will work this hard for this long and still not be satisfied once that "magic" number is finally on the scale.  I am still learning this one.  I have to think about and reflect on all of the changes that have been made in me and in my life, all of the mountains I have had to overcome, just to get to this place.  I have now lost about 60% of my goal, and those numbers, ever so slowly, keep climbing.  The light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to glimmer into view.  As excited as I am to get there, I need to maintain focus on today so that I can keep moving forward, and continuing to allow myself to relish in the compliments and to smile when I look in the mirror is a huge part of that. 

I want to say thank you to all of you who have encouraged and supported me along the way, even those of you who may not even have known it.  I could never have gotten this far without you and my patient and loving Lord.  As part of my reward at the end of my weight loss journey, I have been planning a big party, and you will all be invited to share in the celebration of the success story that I know God is giddy to give me.